UPSIDES AND DOWNSIDES, part 7of15

THE STORY OF AYN VAN DYK

As told by her father Derek Hoare

Part Seven of  Fifteen

UPSIDES AND DOWNSIDES

October 6 & 8, 2011

Oct 6

Ayn, very happy

"Well it was quite the roller coaster today, feeling a bit uplifted because the programs and resources being offered to Ayn and Lyric are generous, temporal but generous. My role in setting up these programs is being respected and I believe if properly implemented will be of great benefit to them both. I was accepted today as well into the at home program for Lyric which is additional resources also being allocated towards proper treatment.

The IEP meeting though seemingly important is actually fairly inconsequential as I have done so many now and never have a big problem getting the school to focus on what I feel is important for the kids, not that they are always successful but they do generally word the IEP such that I agree with the stated goals. I presume tomorrow will be no different. May be awkward as I also presume the foster mother could be there as will the staff that I know well and who have been up until tomorrow not allowed to discuss her with me."

"The day then took a big 180 when Amie arrived after her visit and informed me she was told and provided paperwork indicating that they would not return Ayn to me without me first visiting. To be honest it still has not been fully processed by my brain. When I first found out I immediately began thinking about its significance, and was quite saddened, I then received a phone call from a group member and though upset we spoke and she helped to calm and redirect me. Since then I have been rather busy and though I know the wheels are turning inside my head about it all I have not had the opportunity to sit and ponder it at length.

The rest of the documents are positive steps towards return and future support, and I no longer see a reference to a psychiatric assessment, not sure why that is. There is mention of the medication and that they will be seeking a 90 TCO in order to implement their goal: a return to me.

And so now I ponder... what to do... what will be said to me tomorrow?

A day full of meetings, I will be meeting three separate people with the SW who will then also be bringing me to the IEP meeting and home....

and all this will begin presumably with them telling me that if I do not see her they won't return her.

Oct 8

Not a lot to report for this day as the previous days events have still not fully sunk in or been analyzed in totality... I am very grateful to everyone on the Group who have really poured a lot of their hearts and minds into this. It helps so much to be able to think things through with so many contributing perspectives.

Still not sure how to proceed so the day was spent trying to continue the thought process started yesterday.

I did somehow sleep for 10 1/2 hrs last night - more than I have gotten in 20 yrs... mind you this isn't a complaint really... as I choose not to sleep. I so much prefer consciousness and it seems that there is so much to learn and to experience. Who has time for sleep :) ? So, rested and driven, I proceed."

Many thanks to Jean Nicol for this Collection of Derek's entries from Ayn's Facebook page 

Also downloadable in its entirety at this SendSpace site