THIS WAS COURT DAY

THE STORY OF AYN VAN DYK

As told by her father Derek Hoare

Part Ten of Fifteen

THIS WAS COURT DAY

October 18-19, 2011

Oct 18

Arg!!! having a hard time getting myself to remember to sit down and write these on time... I'm bad. I will set an alarm in my phone to remind me; 11:30 pm.

So this was court day, much anticipated though I was working off the assumption that it was pointless... an accurate assumption it turns out. I kept Lyric home today with the faint hope that there could be a move to return. But my understanding was that if I refused to consent to their request to a 90 day temporary custody that a case conference would be ordered to see if the two sides could come together avoiding a distant and lengthy trial.

I arrived and saw no-one there I knew... Amie hadn't arrived yet, my lawyer was nowhere in sight, nor Amie's... nobody. After entering the courthouse two group members arrived and we headed into the courtroom. I saw Amie's lawyer and MCFD's lawyer as well as the SW... Still no sign of my lawyer. The hearing lasted about 10 seconds.... I did get to speak my first "word" ever in court... "Ya", when asked if it was me who was present. Surreal first word and over many months in!
After the hearing, I spoke with the SW where I was informed that my visitation recommendations were rejected, to which I set up an appt for tomorrow morning to discuss. I was also informed that Ayn had again escaped from care.... this time from the foster home, while taking a bath she climbed out a 12" by 12" window 7 ft off the ground. So naked and drugged she ran off, making it to the "main street", the police were called and she was found, wrapped in a blanket and returned to the foster home. I will not be made aware of any details until at the earliest upon completion of the investigation, in fact neither will the SW of my case. And even once they find out there is no obligation to inform me of the findings.

I still have yet to hear any result from her previous escape months ago, nor on the issue of the fellow child in care watching Ayn; a 15yr old, who states that she worked the night shift with Ayn and did medicate her.

This whole thing has just been surreal like a nightmare that you never wake up from... you wake up to it.

Oct 19
Well this was certainly emotionally one of the hardest days for me to go through... it is indescribable, a rush of different emotions laced together by one thread... propensity to cause suffering. Now many may find it strange because.... well let me start from the beginning.

I awoke this morning from the first dream ever of Ayn being returned.... it was late at night, perhaps 10, and Wyatt began yelling "She's here!" or "She's home!" I said "What?!" and ran down the stairs unlocked the front door and sure enough there was Ayn accompanied by two people... I burst into tears and hugged her tightly as she did me.

"I missed you." I said. "I missed you" she replied.

We went in and upstairs and very shortly after I awoke; it was so vivid it took a few disappointing seconds to realize it was not the truth.

After getting Lyric off to school (and Wyatt having gone to Amie's yesterday), I had a few moments to try to collect my thoughts and prep mentally for the upcoming meeting with the SW.

Now it began with essentially me clearing the last hurdle to Ayn's return, visitation, an elation to be sure. After yesterday hearing that my suggested alternatives to visitation were rejected, today my offer of a "fixed return date" was accepted and I believed an agreement could be reached. For about an hour and a half ideas were tossed around and details discussed. When we reached the: ok so what date could be done, pen was put to paper... and the response was 16 weeks.... I dropped silent... closed my eyes and began to cry.

Consolation was offered as was the assurance that they were trying to help and understood that I was a "stand up guy". This essentially ended the meeting as I was unable to continue.

We meet again Friday. Now the 16weeks was the longest end of the time frame, and the one they would commit to, it was asserted that likely it would be sooner. As early as 10 weeks.... 2 and a half more months. Still putting it into January, missing her birthday, missing Christmas... though she could visit on those days. So what to do, what to do? I collected my thoughts and tried to step outside this bubble I'm in and see what way was best to proceed.

Received tons of advice and perspectives; still not sure "what to do"... but getting closer.

Many thanks to Jean Nicol for this Collection of Derek's entries from Ayn's Facebook page 

Also downloadable in its entirety at this SendSpace site