I LOVE MY DAUGHTER, part4of15

THE STORY OF AYN VAN DYK
As told by her father Derek Hoare

Part Four of Fifteen

I LOVE MY DAUGHTER
DAY 97 September 20th, 2011

Ayn's winsome smile grabs a dad's heart

Sept 20................Day 97
Ok so have written this a few times, Lou keeps coming and closing my tab as soon as I get up to do anything, so cannot move until this is done this time. The day began with Lyric in the bathroom with diarrhoea and not toilet paper... fun fun. After averting the disaster in progress came breakfast then got Wyatt to continue his work on energy technologies.

Spent much of the day pondering the upcoming interviews.

The MCFD social worker arrived 30 min early and we began the meeting with an offer and summation of services the MCFD was willing to provide for me to help my kids. After which we moved on to the interviews; Wyatt was to go first followed by Kim then myself. I was told each interview would take apx 30 min, watching the clock as Wyatt was down there seemed to tick by, took over one hour. The questions he was asked centered on his role within the family, and his daily routine; the standard MCFD questions about punishments and fear were also touched upon.

Kim's interview as well largely seemed to center on his role within the family. When my turn arrived I was informed the questions for me were largely pointless as we had covered my answers in previous encounters. Instead we engaged in what appeared to be a rapport building exercise, we both spoke of our pasts and tried to get a feel for who the other was as a person. Was quite interesting.

I know many thought Wyatt being interviewed alone was inadvisable, suspicion also abounded over the timing of these interviews. But it was in fact me who kept pointing out to MCFD that these interviews had never been done , and that any investigation into the validity of their decision would presumably include a view into the household, why it is that it took until day 97 for them to interview Kim and Wyatt is beyond me.

Now I am admittedly biased but I believe the deeper the understanding of my situation the clearer the injustice of this should become. Time will tell once we see their "interpretation" of our answers.

(Further) Sept 20.....................Day 97
I just received an inquisitive email seeking more info on Ayn, as many answers to questions are now buried under hundreds of posts, this was my response:

Ayn's behaviour at school was violent and aggressive, but it was the school that fomented that behaviour as her "safety plan" they had in place required them to allow her to go calm down if she ever became so. Ayn learned that in order to be in control of her own time at school she had to get aggressive or violent, that if she asked or even got a little upset she was simply redirected back to her task at hand. However if she exhibited extreme aggressive behaviour than she was allowed to go sit in a rocking chair and listen to music or go to her "calm down room".

In the home I experienced all of those behaviours as well, but with time and understanding they dissipated three years ago, as Ayn learned that violence would not get her what she wanted in the home... here she had to use her words.

I did have many measures in place to protect Ayn and her brother Lyric who also has autism. I lock the exterior doors of the house with key locks from the inside, this is because though I do not experience the violence the school does she is still naive as is her brother and they are liable to walk out the front door, plus it makes it much easier to know where they are. I lock up the food in a pantry, as well as the toiletries as these will be wasted in play (bubbles and the like), the bulk of the remaining extreme measures I undergo at home involve repairs, as the children are very hard on things and continue to misuse items... vacuums, toilets, VCR tapes, the sink, etc are often all toys for them. Her nudity is an ongoing problem though she has gotten better with that too.

She is enrolled in a public school but is isolated from the populous of the school, and is assigned 2 full time TA's. Academically the school has struggled with Ayn, failing to consistently get her under "instructional control", they have never taught her past grade 1, at home however Ayn learns like a sponge and I have taught her enough to catch up and surpass her peers in many ways. She began at this new school at the beginning of last school year (Sept 2010) and they began to assess her level... she demonstrated the ability to do her own grade level (4), so they gave her grade 5, she could do that too so they moved her onto grade 6 work (thinking perhaps the outbursts were due to boredom).

Ayn is highly intelligent yet severely delayed in her ability to converse, her ability to understand is great and her ability to express her self is good as well, however there is a bridge to gap with respect to her ability to have two way conversations. And she is still very much interested in preschool type shows or movies; she is a very innocent and naive little girl who really does not yet understand that this is not Her planet to do with as she wants. But she is learning and growing... drugging her is not only unnecessary but reprehensible as she is bright and just needs to be shown how to properly get what she wants.

In school however the expectations levied against her in terms of how her time is spent was unacceptable to her. She needs to be taught by providing her choices and allowing her to direct her learning... with my role as parent to be to control the available choices... in that manner Ayn has excelled.

If you have any further questions let me know please, well informed and thoughtful advice can only serve to benefit me. And the better you understand this situation I believe the greater you will see the injustice of this and of what continues to be done to her. She is at present being given 2 neuroleptic atypical anti psychotics, one consistently and the other reserved for when she gets upset... to "calm" her. As her parent this is a nightmare... I love my daughter... I love her free spirit... and I love her will power... I see no reason for the government to coercively medicate her into submission."

Many thanks to Jean Nicol for this Collection of Derek's entries from Ayn's Facebook page 

Also downloadable in its entirety at this SendSpace site