“I miss her so much, not sure why these past few days have been so emotional, nothing seems to set it off in particular... just washes over you. Or more like it begins in your chest as tightness and then diffuses throughout you. Comes and goes... and off to a terrible start today.... dreamt of her again, woke very upset, took 10 minutes just to write this.”
“And why is it that when we are upset, instinctually we hold our breath, or stop breathing.... and then proceed to gasp when we can.”
“I still hear her voice and I can close my eyes and see her.... this is just a nightmare.”
“Gonna be a rough day.”
“It hurts like it was yesterday.”
“Weird, I don't really know why it is so potent now either, I think it is because now with the proposal out of the way I have time in front of me, and can see the time behind me, and it is so terrible.... I just miss her so much. And when I am busy doing things to get her home it is like I am with her or distracted or something, and now there is just a void filled with pain.”
NOTE: Ayn is autistic. On June 12th she left her back yard and went down the street. Derek couldn’t find her. Police were called and found her three hours later. Although she was happily returned to him that day, on June 16th, social workers removed her from her school and then notified Derek. Ayn was assessed, prescribed anti-psychotic drugs to which she is not accustomed, and was eventually placed with foster parents. She cried for the first eighteen days until she was given a photo of her daddy. Can you appreciate what that does to a father? He has two sons as well, one of whom is also autistic. The Ministry did not remove Ayn due to neglect or abuse or any other defensible reason. One social worker intimated the removal was to ease Derek’s load. Okay, how’s that working for him. You heard him above. Derek Hoare’s burden is one thousand times heavier because of the intervention by a protection agency in British Columbia that concentrates in incompetence. It retains employees who possess modest aptitude for distinguishing what is correct, suitable, honorable and true. Policy permits them to blunder with lives without apology, without timely treatment, without regard for universally understood “best interest.” With this kind of workmanship, it will always be a rough day for some children and parents in this province. Secrecy and unaccountability does not serve citizens well.