JUNE 2011 - MY FIRST ARTICLE ABOUT AYN

This is archived piece that I wrote shortly after Ayn Van Dyk was removed from her father in June 2011. There were 1000 hits to this post back then. She is still in foster care. This should be over by now. She should be home. But read and learn how this began. All of the info in this post dates back to the date of publication. A court appearance is scheduled now for February 2014.

Derek Hoare has three children and all three lived with him until ……… Well, wait until you hear this.

Photo by John Van Putten shows Derek with Ayn 

Did your child ever go missing for a few minutes, for an hour or so? And were you desperate to find the child. Did you contact the police? And when you found the child weren’t you ecstatic and so grateful? So was Derek. But his joy didn’t last long.

WHEN AYN IS COMING HOME.

WHEN AYN IS COMING HOME.

THEY CAN’T TALK OR DON’T WANT TO TALK, OR DON’T KNOW.

They are not speaking about it.

Both Derek Hoare and Amie Van Dyk, biological parents of Ayn Van Dyk (she carries her mother’s surname), have not spoken about the delay.

Some months ago, pre-Christmas 2012, Derek updated us with glad information that consultation with the Ministry of Children assured him that with a graduated process and whatever protocol mechanisms MCFD deemed necessary, Ayn would be returned in the near future, early in the new year.

DEREK LOVES HIS DAUGHTER OH SO WELL

Derek Hoare wondered out loud in his Facebook comment, how when a child’s relationship with parents has been nothing but positive, that social workers in the Ministry of Children and Family Development can possibly deduce that a parent’s love is not essential to the equation of peace in the life of a child disturbed by living away from home and among strangers no matter how efficient and caring they may be.

That curiosity was born as my previous two blog posts intimated, from the cancellation of a visitation opportunity between mother and daughter, between Aime and Ayn. Ayn is autistic and meltdowns are common with many people dealing with autism. Reason counsels one not to punish a child for a meltdown by cancelling a visit with her mother, or by dulling a child’s senses so she cannot manage a visit. Good social working skills equip one to instinctively know that a loving parent’s involvement will likely raise the spirit of a troubled child and stem the possibility of another collapse hours later.

A PETITION - HELP BRING AYN VAN DYK HOME

A petition by advocates for a 10 year old girl's return to her family cannot affect that transfer of custody. It can however demonstrate the strength of public conviction that the apprehension and foster care of this child was ill advised and inappropriate. Within hours now the goal of 5000 signatures will have been reached. Almost 5000 people believe that Ayn, the ten-year old autistic daughter of Derek Hoare and Amie Van Dyk should not have been removed from parental care on the 16th of June 2011, and given that she was removed, she should have been returned to parental care much sooner than the six months, the 196 days that she has been in government care.

I am asking you to sign this petition. I want you to sign it. I am not the sponsor but merely a supporter of this child's return to normalcy. The petition as of this posting requires 48 more signatures to reach 5000.  Here is the link to the petition site, HELP BRING AYN VAN DYK HOME.

TAKING AYN WAS WRONG / 606

A Family shot during this past year

Josiah at 7 mo laughing

The Baynes are still rejoicing. All four children have been returned into the arms of Zabeth and Paul. Tomorrow I will celebrate this joyful event with them at a large party. Tomorrow I will close out this GPS campaign for the Baynes with my final posting. 

Today I am commenting on Ayn and her daddy Derek Hoare.

A young Ayn with Daddy

Derek Hoare expresses himself. Have you already noticed? He has a Facebook Page called ‘Help Bring little Autistic girl back to her daddy.’ Thousands of people are members and many of them write comments each day. His lead observations or his responses to others comprise the reading material. It is a busy page. I was going to say that MCFD would like parents like Derek to roll over and be quiet, but almost certainly MCFD don’t care about Derek. But MCFD should care. He has already appeared on more television and radio interviews and online and hard copy news articles than any previous parent whose child has been taken for questionable reasons. And it has only been 45 days or so since Ayn was removed from his care.

This is what he said yesterday, "Just got off the phone with MCFD, Ayn is sobbing to see me, she has been carrying around my picture, and is crying about wanting to see me. So saddening."

DEREK EXPRESSES HIMSELF ON FACEBOOK / 602

I will not presume to speak for Derek Hoare. A reliable account of his thoughts and opinions are featured in his own words in an ongoing string of remarks on a Facebook group page called ‘Help Bring Little Autistic Girl Back to her Daddy.’ Perhaps you have already found it. If not you should. I will place some of the quoted text here as samplers.

Ayn, in care and drugged, vacant look

First, let me introduce you once more. Ayn is nine years old. Two months ago she was removed from Derek’s custody and care by the Ministry of Children (MCFD). MCFD social workers unsuccessfully consulted with Derek and also asked him to sign a voluntary release document which he refused in an understandably emotional dispute. They left his house, went to the school where she was enrolled, and they apprehended her. Since then he has not seen her once. He will have to answer whether this option has been presented to him. I know that he has said he would decline this because he either knows how damaging it could be to Ayn when he must say goodbye, or perhaps Derek himself could not bear the pain.

A LETTER TO A FRIEND FROM A DISTRESSED MOM / Part 441 / For Love and For Justice / Zabeth and Paul Bayne

On Mary Ellen Kragh's Facebook page, a letter from Zabeth Bayne has been printed following the apprehension of her several hour old newborn son, Josiah. She wrote it on February 17th.

Hi There,

Just a little update from yesterday. We arrived at the nursery at 6:00 which was the earliest we could as we had visitation from our other three little ones from 10:00 to 5:00. It appears that SW arranged during a time he knew we would be out for the new foster parent to spend a couple of hours bonding with our son. We read this in the nurses notes. "Foster parent here from 11:00 to 1:00. This was arranged two days after birth - prior to any court order being approved for removal - prior to any decision being forwarded by Judge Crabtree supporting any evidence of risk.

Also in the nurses notes. SOCIAL WORKER (SW) gave me permission to breast feed for now, but no EBM (expressed breast milk).

My baby is small and needs this. He is not tolerating the formula that they have been giving him while my milk comes in. It is curdling and not digesting.

SW did this with Bethany. I was starting to breast feed her and pumping daily. I froze my milk for weeks and begged him to give it to her and he always refused. I think they may feel I might contaminate it in some way to harm my baby.

They never even arranged to have the milk tested. Yet they acknowledge we have no drug or alcohol abuse.

Also we were not given the live birth registration from the hospital that every parent gets. The Ministry must have denied us this. Are they planning on registering our baby's birth? They don't even know his full legal name. I don't understand if this is even legal.

Our hearts have been so heavy yesterday. I could not even look at our baby in my arms without crying. I came home and expressed more milk for him with tears knowing they will probably dump it. I have been scared to bond, but know that our baby needs us to continue fighting for him and his needs.

Thanks for all you have done. We would feel lost without you.

A CALL TO PRAYER / Part 166 / For Love and For Justice / Zabeth and Paul Bayne/

'A CALL TO PRAYER'

JOIN THEM

On April 6th I mentioned that Paul and Zabeth Bayne, who are committed Christian people, have invited other people who believe in prayer, to join them in a distinctive prayer assembly.

It will happen between the hours of 8:00 AM on Friday April 16th and 8 PM Sunday April 18th.

That is, this invitation has been sent by them or by friends like me to our contacts all over the globe and during that large weekend window of time, wherever people are located, they will take some time to pray.

This is my invitation to you to join them.

Paul and Zabeth have suggested a few things for which people can ask God. Here they are.

1. Pray for God's Will to be done and His Sovereignty and His Purposes to be made clear in their family.
2. Pray for wisdom, understanding and patience as they wait upon God and His timelines to be fulfilled.
3. Pray that God’s Love and Tenderness will be made evident in their children's daily lives.

You can read their own Facebook invitation and even indicate there your intention to be part of this effort. At Facebook just search for ‘A Call to Prayer’.

My own personal invitation to people is going to 150 churches in BC, AB, SK, MAN, and ON among whom I served for several years.

For Love and For Justice / Part 95 / Zabeth and Paul Bayne

LOVE

Zabeth and Paul visit their three children on two afternoons each week. All three children are now in the same foster home. On those two afternoons, Paul and Zabeth have three hours in which to hug and love and play and pray and read and tell stories to their children. The children have not been permitted to be with their own parents in their own family home for twenty-seven months.

Mommy and Daddy take occasional photos of their family visits. During the other 162 hours of each week, those photos are the only physical evidence they have that their children exist. Some of their pictures make them laugh. Some show the family cuddling. Sometimes the photos simply cause Zabeth and Paul to pause and grasp the reality that so much time has slipped away. Tears come when comparing current shots with some pre-crisis photos. Little Bethany is a toddler now. She was six weeks old when the Ministry of Children and Family Development took her. She was a newborn. Zabeth was nursing her.

A court case that will decide whether this separation becomes permanent or whether the children are returned to Paul and Zabeth is presently active. The first series of court days were January 12-14. Court sessions have been scheduled throughout February allowing for breaks. The next series of Court Days are scheduled for February 2-5 at the Chilliwack Court House. The public is permitted to attend.

A Rant and Rave about Facebook

I have a beef – Grade A. Not to mention the security concerns of Facebook and occasional tech glitches and for the moment addressing merely the surface level of interaction on Facebook, I cannot believe the mundane trivialities with which subscribers assault us. And we call one another friends. After all, I go to the trouble of going online, hit the Facebook button and begin to scroll down the morning’s comments, and every day it’s the same kind of stuff – you could call it crap. (That's Mark Zuckerman, creator of Facebook --->)

It is this type of “friends” information about which I am speaking:
“… Wondering when will my sore finger heal.”
“… Is back from go-carting.”
“… enjoying the day.”
“… washing the dog.”
“… Langley is pleasant today.”
“… Wish I could stop.”
“ …is going roller blading…” and a little later, “just back from roller blading.”

Come on, really? It feels like an intellectual insult. All of us subscribers do it without thinking, but at a more cerebrally reflective moment such as this present one, what is wrong with my head to be engaged in something quite as inane as this?

And then there is the avalanche of e-game results with graphics that fill the screen as each friend who plays an e-game automatically informs us of the cows he’s bought, or the foes she’s vanquished, or the goals scored. I know I can choose to hide the graphics and I do!

What I value is the networking feature that graces my daily life with contacts with ‘friends’ from the past and in different geographical locations whom I otherwise would not even think about or with whom I had lost contact. That is the chief fascination and benefit. And perhaps that is what this is all about. It's like being neighbours and talking over the fence or out on the street about nothing much - just life. I know that Facebook can have large business and marketing value as well. Photo and event sharing is a great feature. Facebook Developer Platform provides for an infinite number of marketing and data collection possibilities. With the new Facebook Ads platform, you can reach a niche audience with relevant and highly-targeted ads and optimize your site with onsite analytics. The fastest growing demographic for users is those 25 years old and older.

From a technical standpoint, the technologies, networking tools, and web applications built into it are incredibly intuitive and advanced. Facebook’s photo sharing application is the most widely used one on the Web. Probably the coolest thing about Facebook is that it is a platform on which others can build applications.

So the social networking ingredient that underlies this communication venue I appreciate and thus endeth my rant and rave for today.

You can see Zuckerman talk about this at a developers conference. But it's dated, it speak about 24 million users when today it's 57 million. 10% of Canada's population is signed up.

Oh yes, “Ron Unruh is still sitting in my short PJs”.
Later - "Ron Unruh is going to take a shower."