Derek’s written presence on the Facebook page entitled, “Help Bring little Autistic Girl Back to Daddy,” has been infrequent in recent months. February 8th and March 2nd 2012 were the two most recent dates upon which Derek made an entry on Ayn’s Facebook page. Both of those occasions marked significant disappointment in his life after which he didn’t write for days and weeks. The former being a scheduled visit between Amie and Ayn which was cancelled ten minutes before the visit time by what MCFD explained to Amie as an Ayn tantrum at school. Ayn was taken home and the visit with her mother was cancelled. The latter date was a Mediation meeting about which Derek says he is not allowed to speak but about which both he and Amie agree, “It could not have been worse.”
When this Facebook page was started by Derek’s sister shortly after the June 16th removal of Ayn from her father’s care and custody, it gathered momentum quickly and Derek was prolific in his comments and replies to those who wrote remarks and annotations. Hope was alive and well that Ayn’s return was imminent. After all, how could a child protection agency keep an autistic child for any length of time from her devoted father? From such naivety HOPE sprang for Derek and Amie and all of the rest of their friends and countless supporters across the country and across national borders. Now I believe that it is the attrition of that Hope over all these months that may account for Derek’s drop in public comments. He may be beleaguered by disappointment. Beyond that hypothesis I decline to speculate but I can tell you that speaking for myself, the absence of personalized first-hand information by the principal players in this sad saga is problematic to me.
Certainly the Facebook page and Ayn’s story is not about me or you or any of us who are not related by blood to little Ayn and her parents. Further, Derek does not owe anything to me or any of us who have become sympathizers and campaigners for Ayn’s return. Having said that, I return to my comment about the dearth of input from Derek being problematic. We depend upon information. We need it. Derek should not expect that the thousands of supporters will hang around indefinitely if they never hear from him. It is not sufficient by any stretch to hear snatches from a few folk who say they have spoken with him. The truth is that this Facebook page has changed and has largely now become about all of us who comment on the page about our concerns and observations. It is less about Ayn. Of course we continue to view posted images of Ayn but because there is little current information about Ayn herself, many of us post our own compositions or other stories and images plucked from online journals, magazines and web pages and many of these are not directly related to Ayn. Our comments have moved from irritation with MCFD over Ayn’s removal and continuing Ministry care to slanderous statements that name public servants and generally vitriolic remarks about government interference and ineptitude. Denigrating comments occasionally appear, suspecting that social workers are eavesdropping here as if that is a deplorable result. Don’t we want authorities to know what Ministry policy and procedure does to families and how we perceive justice to be impaired when parental rights are entirely stripped away?
MCFD acted in accordance with an assumption that Derek was overwhelmed by the parental load he was carrying by himself for his three children, two of whom are children with autism. MCFD took his youngest child away with the patronizing statement, “We are making your load easier.” His load has not been diminished by this ludicrous rationale. He has been more greatly burdened for the past eight months than he ever was before. Yet here is my conclusion. Derek does not need nor want our help.
I have been questioning whether this page is actually of any practical help to Ayn or to Derek and Amie. Some of you will have to persuade me otherwise but I don’t believe that you can. We want to be helpers in the cause, but I truly doubt that we can be. I think that the volume of our intended help is overwhelming for Derek. He can’t keep up with our demands. So he does not respond at all. He is parenting two other children after all. Frankly I believe that a circle of closely associated supporters who personally know him and meet with him can be of significantly greater help to him than four thousand casual readers of whom a smaller number are blog writers and twitterers and small project initiators who work with decreasing information.
Although it boosts Derek’s morale to know he has so much kindhearted support (4,124 members), I do not believe that he needs us – certainly not most of us. He does not need the daily blog that I have been writing for many months. I have come with reluctance to that conclusion. My blog here is not servicing the solution to his personal and family dilemma with the Ministry. It takes up my time to research and to write and it consumes your time to read. I am not merely being melodramatic. I have even arrived at the opinion that Derek doesn’t want much of the help we insist upon giving to him. Out of compassion such help has been offered, but Derek can only process so much and he is the judge of how much that is. Ray Ferris is an informed advisor and has been seeking to provide to Derek worthwhile counsel which regardless of whether it is accepted and used, does at least deserve an email acknowledgement that it’s been received and read. Karla Fisher has offered on numerous occasions to do what she can at the appropriate time. So this case is proceeding and will progress to its conclusion and Derek and Amie will be at the mercy of the MCFD. I believe Derek is doing the best that he can do and I also believe that he should avail himself of good advice when it is offered because excellent representation is what he needs most. And underneath all of this, the interest of this child Ayn, is not being served by MCFD when it determines to break the spirit of the parents.
I have written in strong support of Derek and for the return of his daughter to him. Today I am reining in that effort and I will not write again on this case for the foreseeable future. I will rejoice when Ayn is returned and I will publicize that loudly.
I am totally understanding you Ron and not at all in disagreement but disappointed as I will miss your blogs, your wisdom, and your compassion. I look forward to the blog when you rejoice about Ayn's return. The circumstances have seldom been pleasurable in all of this the past 8 months but it has been a pleasure making your aquaintance. Be well, take care ........ from the East Coast
ReplyDeletethank you Jean. You are a good ally for Derek. I admire your commitment.
DeleteI do understand your position Ron and there are certain aspects of it that I totally agree with. Specifically the sheer demand on Derek's time that overloads him to the point where I feel it does impact on his ability to keep people informed.
ReplyDeleteThat said recent efforts I have also been involved with on the east coast lead me to believe that a strong offensive by people who are upset at the government path can make a difference. For this reason I feel that we can succeed. The question is does this success result in Ayn's return or does it also include a total reworking of MCFD.
Thank you for your understanding and for your optimism for collective effort. I am sure you will proven to be correct.
DeleteRon,
ReplyDeleteI will miss you clear, concise, well reasoned articles in defense of justice for this family. I certainly have many of the same feelings about the facebook group as you.
Yet it strikes me that the facebook group, and the writing you, Ray and others have been doing is not about Derek, or the family, it as about Ayn. Ayn who needs people to speak for her. Ayn who needs thinking people to stand up and say "this is not right". Ayn who cannot speak for herself, or advocate for her self.
Certainly information from Derek helps us who are not family, or who aren't part of the "inner circle". But does the lack of information from Derek mean that Ayn no longer needs us? No. Ayn needs us all.
You see if we remain silent in this, then we become part of the problem. We allow MCFD to expand their powers. By silence we give permission to the government to continue to hold Ayn, or other children under the false pretense that government knows best.
We have no way of knowing what efforts will bring forth justice for Ayn. I am reminded of Romans 8:26 whenever I think of Ayn. "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. " - I don't know how to pray for Ayn ... but the Spirit does so I need to trust his intercession in this. Likewise, I do not know how I (or you) can possibly help Ayn, yet to do nothing is to allow justice to be surrendered.
Ayn needs us Ron, she needs each one of us, the world needs to know we will not surrender her, people need to know this isn't ok, the government needs to know they may be able to use law to gag Derek ... but we will not be gagged. Justice will not be silent. We will not be silent.
Please Ron, Ayn needs you not be silent.
Respectfully,
Carolyn
I am listening Carolyn.
DeleteI haven't been on facebook or the internet for quite awhile due to my own family issues, and was quite saddened ( but not really suprised ) when I logged in a few minutes ago and read your most recent blog. You have been a wealth of knowledge and support and you will be missed greatly....it had to be a very difficult decision to come to after all you've done to bring awareness to this case. Everyone who has been helping in whatever way they can (be it monetary, words of encouragement or sound advise,etc.) have at some point I'm sure felt frustrated or discouraged that the help hasn't done more than it has to bring Ayn home. Like Jean, I will be looking forward to your WELCOME HOME AYN blog post.....peace and luck always to you and yours.
ReplyDeleteVICTORIA ETTINGER
you are very generous with your comments Victoria and I thank you. May the wait not be long.
DeleteMy own belief is that the MCFD have no intention of ever returning Ayn to Derek because they want to provide Ayn with a female carer because she will be reaching puberty soon, and Derek cannot ever be that. There is a widespread perception that men cannot be trusted with the care of children or vulnerable (especially female) disabled people, and the majority of carers for people with complex needs are women (even 75% of men who require personal care help want women to do it) and Ayn's disappearance last summer gave them a pretext to split up a family situation they disapproved of all along. The only hope is for Amie to take custody of Ayn herself, something that has never been discussed on the group in all the time it's been going.
ReplyDeleteYou are correct Matthew. I do no believe that anyone has surfaced this notion before that MCFD's reluctance to return Ayn relates to her imminent puberty stage and the benefit of female association with her. Yet even that possibility calls into question the good sense of MCFD personnel because if SWs are wise at all they could recommend a plan for care that insured adequate consideration for this young girl's needs, while respecting the family and the relationship Ayn has with her father and mother. Perhaps you are correct, that Amie will need to consider more closely her involvement at this time, yet it seems absurd to think that and MCFD condition for return would be that a working mother must become unemployed in order to care for her daughter.
DeleteIt seems that the only way for gov't authorities to right their wrongs is by exposing them in the media, thru blogs, news, papers, etc. only then are they publically shamed into rectifying their mistakes. As long as it remains secret and hidden the injustices will continue; they HAVE to be made public so everyone will see their real agenda and what really goes on,and victims need all the support and backing they can get.
ReplyDeleteI hear you Pogue
DeleteSorry to see you go Ron, your sound and calm approach will be missed, but I can't say I don't understand. I have been working on exposing Ayn's case and demanding justice for her since June of 2011; it is incredibly difficult to carry on with no input from the family BUT I will not give up --- I cannot walk away from a child being destroyed by government bureaucracy and greed; they want the strongest and smartest to give up --- I cannot and will not. I hope you will reconsider, you have been a guiding light for many! We who can, must give a voice to Ayn ... she needs us!
ReplyDeleteNicole B.
DeleteI have likely not explained myself well enough for everyone. As I stop writing here it may be perceived as giving up. I have simply realized that this writing effort does not directly affect the case management or even assist Derek personally and therefore will not affect the outcome. To be writing on behalf of someone's case without knowing the developing details of the case seems irresponsible to me. You say Nicole that you have been working to expose the case - and my question is to whom? And is that destination capable of altering the case per se. Derek is the one involved in the case, and therefore it seems to me that those who can properly inform and advise and instruct him are the help that truly counts.
'To be writing on behalf of someone's case without knowing the developing details of the case seems irresponsible to me.'... How so? You do know that there have been no developing details of this case since before Christmas and even in January of this year at a CC, nothing was resolved? Also, Ron you do know that Derek and Amie cannot speak of what transpired or was said, to ANYONE outside of the mediation meeting from last week? Nothing has developed that Derek can speak about, so what would you have him do? He has members working hard to find legal opportunities that are best not posted to the public, his personal and family life have been turned up-side-down by this act of MCF... would you have him take the time out of this turmoil and hurt to post it on the main board just to satisfy others curiosity? I do not understand your reasoning for the many assumptions you have written in your blog. There is much many can do and have been doing a great job of it. Every single blog entry, tweet, FB share, letter to Govt officals, telling a friend... all of these help, how can they not? If you choose to decline, so be it, others will certainly understand and you did a great job...but to place the fault on Derek because he has not done enough is wrong, it is simply your choice.
ReplyDeleteJen Travers
Jen, I know you are close to Derek and that you want to protect him but please don't be upset with me for writing my rationale for stopping at this time. You do not know what is going on in my life. Further, even as I commented upon the need for information that can feed or inspire the writing, Derek's own response yesterday proves my point. He began with "So where to even begin.... as I am sure most would understand the last 8 ½ months have been beyond nightmarish. Tortuous does not begin to describe this either, the reality is that I have dedicated my life to my kids. I have dropped everything to ensure their happiness and development and to have this culminate in an attack by my own government, who has taken no time to understand my children or my family yet claim some authoritarian power over it is monstrous." -- And that Jen, is what fires up a writer. That can stimulate a score of daily posts. My article did not lay blame on Derek. I understand his position perfectly. I excused him in fact. What I sought to explain is my conclusion that with the lack of knowledge that I have specific to Derek's case, my blog cannot directly affect the outcome of Ayn's case or her return. Your efforts about which you speak may in fact be more helpful. So I encourage you to continue. I didn't say I would not try to influence network journalists and MLAs to take this travesty seriously.
DeleteMight I suggest changing the objective.
ReplyDeleteGiven the dearth of information, and infrequency when it does arrive, daily blog posts on Derek and Ayn as a subject alone would indeed be challenging.
Derek's case is unique in that MCFD has stooped to a new low, taking one child out of three from a successful family unit. That child happens to be autistic.
This is not child protection, this is the state encroaching onto our lives by fabricating a basis on which to do so.
This type of interference has become more pervasive and is becoming increasingly intrusive on the lives of citizens.
Write about exactly the problems you and any other journalistic endeavour have encountered, a lack of information because the 'best interests of the child' is used as an excuse to hide bureaucratic bungling.
Derek's case is just one of thousands, but it can be the anchor that those other stories relate to. Perhaps investigate those other cases and their similarities to Derek.
I agree writing on one subject may not visibly affect the outcome of the case, and may, in fact, cause more problems if MCFD asserts privacy laws are being violated.
Anon
DeleteIndeed Derek’s case is illustrative of a wave of bad faith activity by MCFD and intrusions into family autonomy. Writing about Derek’s case has the potential to be shattering to MCFD reputation and image. I am merely saying that I don’t think that I can do it presently.
Thank-you Ron for all your work over the years providing both sensible and constructive advice about how to improve a broken system.
ReplyDeleteShould you decide to return and write, we will be here. Perhaps in the future, as was mentioned, instead of focusing on individual cases, lead thoughtful discussions and grassroots movement in order to effect change at the political level, because until our politicians our pressured to deal with this issue, nothing will change.
Once again, our thanks and wishing you all the best.
Dear Anon Mar 16 10:17 AM
DeleteYour kind words are certainly appreciated by me and you suggestion is taken seriously. Merci.
This article from England in the news today shows exactly what organisations/individuals are capable of. The heartbreak needs to BROUGHT TO A HALT once and for all, everywhere.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2116175/The-doctor-broke-families-Psychiatrist-damned-hundreds-unfit-parents-faces-GMC-probe.html
Dear Anon Mar 16 10:17 AM
DeleteYour kind words are certainly appreciated by me and you suggestion is taken seriously. Merci.
Dear Anon Mar 16 10:17 AM
ReplyDeleteYour kind words are certainly appreciated by me and you suggestion is taken seriously. Merci.
Telling the TRUTH about MCFD, the judiciary, RCMP, police, MCFD lawyers, and everyone using children as pawns in the CANADIAN governments child destruction/trafficing scheme is of utmost importance...there is no reasonable explanation for this blog/discussion to remain silent when millions of innocent children and their parents in CANADA are being destroyed by the destroyers.
ReplyDeleteTHE VOICE CRYING OUT IN THE WILDERNESS NEEDS TO GET LOUDER, NOT SILENT!!!
The Josef Fisher story is not uncommon, it's the NORM.
http://prorege-forum.com/forum_entry.php?id=9902&PHPSESSID=e1b11
Psychology is the number one weapon of Freemasonry. They will use everything about you or everything you write or say on the phone against you. They constantly sow lies/seeds into peoples heads everyday (it's called Gaslighting), even by our controlled Media. You have no idea of how deliberately deranged Freemasonry is. The Zionist criminal elite call their low level members "useful idiots" and the intelligent ones are called "clever idiots". They do NOT care about anyone so long as they reach their NWO agenda. You have to learn the difference between synchronicity and what is manipulated by them. Genuine synchronicity is a gift from God. My advice is stick to logic if you don't have strong intuition. Fact, everything a criminal Mason does is "Trick or Treat". The treat is to their brotherhood and everything else is a trick to non-brotherhood. This will always be, until more good people awaken. Question everything and challenge closed doors. Good Masons? are welcome to comment or contact but none so far in the last six years. Freemasonry thrives on the abuse of your trust.
For Anon Mar 24, 2012 02:00 PM
ReplyDeleteMy post above was my explanation for concluding my current retelling of the Ayn Van Dyk story. It remains a relevant story. As I have stated before, in the early weeks of this seizure and apprehension of a child, Ayn’s father Derek was readily available to talk with numerous television, radio and online or hard copy journalists. His love for his daughter and his outrage at the Ministry’s conceited approach to his daughter’s best interests caught the attention of thousands of people and with that public detailing of his family’s story there was both sympathy and relevant information. The information supply has dried up because Derek himself has become silent. There is no explanation and we are left to surmise the cause for his diminished communication. Such conjecture is untrustworthy. As a father and a grandfather and as a citizen and a lover of freedom I am infuriated by the way this Ministry of Children has managed this child and her parents. Nevertheless, I have no current information about the status of the case from which I can produce my blog work.
That explanation does not mean I cannot or will not speak to the weaknesses and failings of the child protection systems of this province and country. I have personal reasons why at this present time, I have refrained from the discipline of writing.
I am familiar with Josef Fisher and his story. We have corresponded in the past. His life and his family has been affected forever because of its involvement with the Ministry of Children in BC. I am sympathetic to his pain and loss.
The last paragraph about Freemasonry is not germaine to your earlier points and is a questionable subject when you want to talk to me or others about child protection. Too bad you mix subjects and thereby lose your readers.
Josef has assured me that he always signs his name to anything that he writes so he was not the writer of the Anonymous note to which I referred above.
ReplyDelete