Monday, March 29, 2010

EMOTIONAL SURPRISES / Part 151 / For Love and For Justice / Zabeth and Paul Bayne/

Here is what passes unnoticed and unknown to social workers because it may not even be known to those who know Paul and Zabeth the best. These parents keep their children’s clothing and toys month after month. Who can tell whether this nightmare might be over not to far down the road. But one month becomes three, and three months becomes six months, and six months becomes one year. One year, and now some of those little boy clothes that were their eldest son’s no longer fit him but they can fit the middle child. But then, one year becomes two years, and it becomes clearer that many of the items mommy and daddy have been keeping in the children’s spaces will no longer be age appropriate or necessary. The children have grown older. And two years became two and one half years as it was this past week.

This past week Paul and Zabeth had some difficult emotional days. They have done this house cleaning before and it was time to do it once again. Paul and Zabeth had set up many items in the children’s rooms as from time to time they anticipated the children’s return. Grandparents and other friends gave clothing and equipment and toys for the children. Paul and Zabeth had purchased some of the items themselves. The rooms had to be ready with supplies and clothing. They needed to be able to demonstrate that they were ready and able to receive the children. This week Paul and Zabeth examined the children’s belongings once again. Imagine what it was like to handle things that the children never used or would not use at all. So much time has passed. The playpen, a baby’s high chair, a booster seat, diapers are all useful and in good condition but they will not be useful to the Bayne children. Those hoped for times came and went. They had to let these children’s things go – to be replaced. As is typical of them, even as Paul and Zabeth felt these emotions they took pleasure in inviting an expectant mother to take everything they could no longer keep because she was so happy to have these gifts. Of course they must keep the children’s rooms in readiness so all that is necessary for each child must be restocked and this exercise sparks some fresh hope. As always their faith remains strong that God will end this ordeal.


  1. Lord God, Father of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, please bring this to an end by bringing these children home to Paul and Zabeth. Restoration is needed now. In the strong and mighty name of Jesus. I read your blog again, with tears streaming down my face. There is no way I can imagine what it is like to be the parents, held hostage, with no way of hastening the decision to bring their children home. Patience, prayer, endurance, strength, courage, boldness, grace, mercy, love. I guess these are the things that keep them going. Peace to the Bayne family. And restoration.

  2. This is something I can relate to. After all my children returned well over a year later, none of their clothes fit. Their bedrooms were left as is, ready for their eventual return.

    My youngest daughter still has fond memories of all of her "baby" toys and clothes, which is why I kept them and threw nothing away. A young child's ties with the past are linked with objects, so all of us remember the happy experiences that surround those items. These familiar objects appear in videos and pictures so we are keeping the items as keepsakes. The positive memories associated with the objects outweight the horrors that child protection represents.

    When my children were removed, they had on only the clothes they wore to school that day. The social worker involved at that time was not interested in collecting any items that would allow my children to stay connected with me as their parent. I didn't get to see or hear from my children until three weeks has passed, which was well after Christmas.

    The foster parents purchased clothes throughtout their stay in care, putting their 'stamp' on my children. I was never asked for input on any childcare matters and my suggestions were ignored.

    Allowance was given to the kids, and they were instructed to buy their own clothes with the money.

    The end results is that my children have been very well educated as to the reality of what the Ministry represents. They no longer trust those in authority and now closely examine adults generally for ulterior motives. They will tell their friends and those friends will tell their parents to beware of the Ministry. For my children, the Ministry has become the new "monster under the bed" that terrifies them.

    This is indeed a sad situation to know my children may someday observe a child in need, and remember their encounteres with child protection, and hesitate or not report anything it because they have first hand experience as to what that child and her parent would go through, and that would be far worse than the perception of mistreatment they observe.

    What I experienced of the seemingly endless collection of "little" things occur that bring tears and anger to any helpless parent's eyes, I realized that these were carefully thought out and planned. This is not a general lack of consideration or oversight on the part of the social worker. Their training as a social worker and the implicit agreement with foster parent combine to 'get under the skin' of a parent with the deliberate intent of upsetting them.

    This is done all for the money that children in care bring the Ministry. The social workers have job security. Children are the commodity that ensures the longevity of their job.

    If you compared rape on a daily basis over a period of time to ministry involvement, most parents affected by MCFD would find this an close approximation of the degree of invasiveness this government Ministry is capable of.

    It might well be impossible, but parents can't let it get under their skin. Instead, wait it out and spread the word. Don't speak ill of the ministry generally. Speak of your personal experience and let readers realize they could be next.

    The social workers and other individuals employed by the minisry is no different the cowardly policeman in Victoria caught on a cell phone videocam kicking a helpless citizen. Some people in power committ such acts simply because they can, and because the believe they can get away with it.

    Painting an entire organization in a negative light with the acts of individuals may be difficult not to do, as takes away from the person telling the story. So hopefully more parents will come forward to tell their story.

  3. Anonymous, what a story you have to tell. You are a seasoned warrior. I honour you and others like you, who speak with such wisdom and restraint in an horrendous situation.

  4. In my humble opinion, the abusive cop in Victoria is slightly better. At least, he is blatant enough to show his wrongdoing and express his abusive behavior in the public. Special interests deeply entrench under the noble cause of "child protection", profess that they are experts and secretly conduct their hideous business under the cover of privacy and confidentiality.

    They have so much undue power that even a provincial court judge has no power to prevent them from re-removing children that court orders to return, without new evidence, let alone punishing them for abusing their authority. Police with itchy trigger fingers must obey their command with no discretion whatsoever. We all should shudder at the thought how vulnerable parents and families are in such a system.


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