Zabeth and Paul Bayne – Part 65 – The Bayne Campaign for Justice

WHAT MAKES A GOOD PARENT?

Here are eight slices of advice. Parents generally want to do the best job of parenting their children into adulthood and independence. Parents desire to make wise choices so that during the process of raising the children and when the outcome is determined, there are as few regrets as possible but there is an archive of great memories.

What makes a good parent?

1. A Good parent lets go of the notion that the child will be what the parent wants the child to be. That is not to encourage the abrogation of the parental duties that shape good character. It relates more to a restraint from seeking to mold a child into a perfect duplication of the parent’s vision.
2. A Good parent exemplifies love for others and particularly love for the child and communicates this to the child enough that confidence and security are the character building outcomes.
3. A Good parent owns responsibility for the rearing of the child and does not expect others like school teachers or church program leaders to do this for the parent.
4. A Good parent self educates in order to provide optimum health and nutrition, to supply a range of cultural and cuisine experiences, to teach about world concerns, political and social matters.
5. A Good parent is vigorous about learning and respecting a child’s personality and introducing chores at appropriate developmental stages that equip the child for the future.
6. A Good parent takes time at all stages to be interested and involved in what the child is doing and to give undivided attention when it is required so that the parent’s influence is highly effective.
7. A Good parent communicates in physical ways, in body language, in listening and interacting with the child, that home is the safe place where love is unconditional.

Zabeth and Paul are eager to be the good parents God called them to be 24/7, but they are permitted 6 hours per week to be with their children. The children cannot live with their parents. They live instead with foster parents. To live as a family, Zabeth and Paul have missed 33% of their eldest son’s lifetime, 50 % of their second son’s earth time, and most of their daughter’s life. These three children have been in the custody of a government Ministry for over two years. And this, not because the parents ever abused their two boys or abused the baby girl but because medical professionals were taught to associate the baby girl’s physical symptoms exclusively with Shaken Baby Syndrome. Suspicion translated into a fractured family, traumatized and confused children, broken-hearted parents and grandparents. Bureaucratic indifference has set in as each player focuses upon his or her specific task rather than upon the larger objective of what is best for this family and the wider family and the communities in which it moves.

I credit my skeletal content today to Natalie Bahadur whose article ‘What makes a good parent?’ on the Canadian Living website inspired me with its 8 opinions on good parenting, in which she recorded the advice of several Canadian parents on the subject of child rearing and what it takes to be a good mom or dad. Natalie Bahadur is a contributor to ElleCanada.com and the editor of StyleAtHome.com.

Photographs are unrelated to the Bayne family.