Wednesday, January 30, 2013


Aime has visited Ayn during this lengthy absence. Derek has not, and with carefully considered statements he has explained his relationship with his daughter, her implicit trust of him, her expectation that if he shows up she will expect he is taking her home and be negatively impacted if he walks away. That may certainly have been true for the first months following her removal. One wonders what emotional distance may have developed for Ayn as she has lived with foster parents who by all reports have done a commendable job with the child.

Last week Amie enjoyed her second day-time visit with her daughter Ayn in Amie’s house. All visits prior to these last two have been in a facility arranged by Ministry of Children. Amie was very pleased with both visits and Ayn seemed to appreciate this freedom and intimacy as well. This is an important step for a small girl who has been away from her family home for eighteen months. It’s like a re-entry of sorts. Amie tells us about the visits in the paragraphs below.
After the first Home visit (Jan 16), Amie wrote on Facebook, “Great day :)”

“Today went very well! It's been so long in the coming and the waiting has been so difficult. Today the visit was much more natural and it felt so amazing. It was a very positive visit, couldn't have asked for more. Very happy, feeling optimistic!”

“The next visit will be supervised There is a supervision tapering off schedule highly dependent on how Ayn responds to a different environment. A work in progress but looking very positive so far. Next visit will be on Wednesday.”

In answer to a question about when Ayn might be returned home for good, Amie wrote, “nothing carved in stone. I will wait and see. I'm not even going to begin to speculate. Or count my chickens before they've hatched.”

In answer to another question, as to whether these visits are happening because
Ayn is meant to be coming home or is it independent of that, Amie said, 

”Independent of that.”

Following the second home visit (Jan 23), Amie said, “Visit today went very well. I am told Ayn spontaneously said, "I miss mommy." I was so happy to hear I teared up. Another very good visit today.”

She was asked whether visitation was scheduled for the next week and whether there was any change to conditions, to which Amie said, “Yes, increase to 2 visits, will be difficult to co-ordinate and that has not been worked out just yet. Also, normally "Z" supervises and as anyone who’se been paying attention knows, I was worried about "X" being there as well as "Z". "X" does not have to be there if I would prefer. Since it went well the last 2 visits, and it didn't interfere with my time with Ayn, I'm ok with it.” (X and Y are social workers)
Amie and Ayn were to have another day together at Amie’s place this week but today (Monday 29th) Amie informed the Facebook community that they ...
“Will not be having a visit this week as there has been a family emergency.” She acknowledged that this was her family. She then stated publically, “I don't know that there is much that can be done other than to go through the necessary steps. No, ok would be a stretch. I'm not ready to talk about it but I know there are people waiting to hear news after my scheduled visit. Hopefully visits will resume after this week is over, that is my intention if it is the appropriate choice. Hopefully will know more by the end of the week.”

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