Zabeth and Paul Bayne – Part 45 – The Bayne Campaign for Justice

Just Suppose, and Then ... Realize It's Really True

Of the 168 hours in each week, Paul and Zabeth Bayne are permitted to visit with their three children for six hours, which is three hours on each of two afternoons per week from 12 noon until 3 pm. Does that seem reasonable? It doesn’t have to be reasonable when it is what the Ministry permits.

Get serious about this please readers. If you have children and you love them, does six hours per week do it for you? If you have children and you take parenting seriously, can you affect your purposes in six hours? If you have children and you also possess moral, ethical and spiritual life values you wish to instill in your children, can you accomplish this in six hours? Well, no, but you are going to realize you have no alternative and you will give it a good try won’t you?

Suppose that during every visitation that you have with your children a social worker is sitting as an audience of one, taking note of all that you do and that you say with your children. Well then suppose that a social worker takes you aside one day and tells you that you are not permitted to speak to your children about the past, their past with you, their lives as a family in which you are involved. Suppose that you are told that you may not speak to your children about the future – that is, you are not permitted to convey any hope that you will be a family together one day again. You are not allowed to give them that hope even though the child says, “I want to come home.” A child that has not been ‘home’ for two years. Suppose that you are told that such information about the past or the future only confuses the child’s loyalties and they should become loyal to the foster parent(s). Suppose that you are told that you cannot send a love note or card to your child without first sending it to the Ministry for approval. Suppose that you are told you may not help your children eat their food when you are visiting them. They are supposed to help themselves and suppose that two of your children are 4 yrs and 2 yrs of age and further suppose that your children weigh less now than they did when the Ministry took them from you. Suppose you are forbidden to assist your children to go to the bathroom during your visit. They are supposed to manage these personal tasks on their own, to care for and to clean themselves. Keep on supposing that it is explained to you that failure to comply with these instructions will be noted in the social worker’s journal and this non compliance may mean forfeiture of visitation privileges and will further impair any possibility of regaining custody of your children. Suppose that the social worker is merely doing the assigned job that is an agreed upon method of operation. Suppose that you asked that you might have a printed copy of these stipulations or even the copy from which the social worker just read to you but that you are denied. And now suppose that you make a moral decision that you will not stop telling your children that you love them regardless of what a Ministry threatens to do.

And now, don’t suppose any longer, but realize that this is what Paul and Zabeth Bayne have reported as their experience. And MCFD employees and social workers, I ask you to imagine yourselves as parents in whose lives this present child protection system has become involved in the ways that I have "merely supposed." You know that there is a better way. There is a way to be discerning between lousy parents who do require imposed controls and good parents for whom such impositions are scandalous.

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