MOM AMIE'S ACCOUNT OF DAY VISIT WITH AYN

Taken Yesterday, Ayn in her mom Amie's home.

After one and one half years, Ayn Van Dyk, 10 year old daughter of Amie Van Dyk and Derek Hoare was permitted to have a day with her mom in her mom’s home. This is a significant advance and perhaps, a step in the road to return which has already been intimated to Derek and Amie by the Ministry of Children and Family Development. That day occurred yesterday, Wednesday, January 16, 2013. Amie wrote about her delight on The Facebook Page dedicatedto Ayn’s return to the care of her father. Her father has been the primary caregiver ever since Amie and Derek split up some years ago. Amie respects Derek’s care of Ayn and is in full agreement that his home is where Ayn needs to be. 



Amie was now given this opportunity to host Ayn for a day, in part because of Derek’s insistence ever since Ayn’s removal in June 2011, that he would not, could not visit Ayn because it would have deleterious affects on Ayn, if he were to turn around and leave. That position is contextualized within a very tight daughter/father relationship, an entire post removal month during which Ayn carried a photo of her daddy in hopes that he would rescue her, as well as Derek’s own parental instincts and knowledge of his daughter’s psyche and emotions. In the paragraphs that follow, Amie relates her impressions of yesterday’s play-day visit.

“Today went very well! It's been so long in the coming and the waiting has been so difficult. Today the visit was much more natural and it felt so amazing. It was a very positive visit, couldn't have asked for more. Very happy, feeling optimistic!”

“The next visit will be supervised There is a supervision tapering off schedule highly dependent on how Ayn responds to a different environment. A work in progress but looking very positive so far. Next visit will be on Wednesday.”

Someone asks “is there any estimate time for her permanent return home?i” Amie answers, “nothing carved in stone. I will wait and see. I'm not even going to begin to speculate. Or count my chickens before they've hatched."

Amie also posted a copy of her letter to the Ministry sent on Tuesday, the day before the Wednesday visit. Without comment from me, I submit this here so you can make your own assessment of her communication skills, her stated love for her daughter, her respect for the present foster home in which Ayn stays, her impression of social workers who help or hinder the interaction she has with her daughter. 

“I was very encouraged by the prospect of having a communication journal with the foster home. I think it will be an excellent tool for me to be kept better informed about Ayn's current environment including her educational, medical and daily living supports.

I love Ayn very much and her well being has been a concern for me since before she was born. I appreciate your willingness to communicate with me and would again like to express my desire to work together to ensure Ayn's health, safety, growth and developmental requirements are met. If you have concerns that I have not addressed about my ability to manage Ayn's behavior, questions that I can clarify, or further suggestions on what I can do to improve on the quality of care I provide for Ayn, please let me know.

I was disappointed to hear that X was going to accompany Ayn for visits in my home. I was under the impression that my visit was to take place with Ayn while Z was supervising. I find that when X is present during the visit, Ayn becomes interested in interacting with X. This interferes with my ability to engage with my daughter, and our time together is very limited to begin with. X has not been present for the visits for some time now and the visits have been going very well so I do not see a reason to re-introduce X. This is creating and prolonging an additional transitional phase that could easily be avoided. It will set the precedent for Ayn that X can be in my home and it will be difficult for Ayn to understand why X cannot always be present for the visit. I would like to make my home a distinct environment for Ayn, transitioning to a more natural home setting for the time we spend together, separating it from the foster setting.

My understanding is that my visits with Ayn have been supervised thus far as a result of protective concerns being expressed. I believe I have spoken to the allegations that have been made. I have from the beginning expressed my desire to spend as much time with Ayn as I'm allowed. I have met with several social workers, introduced my boyfriend and roommate to them, met with them in my home repeatedly, agreed to have myself and anyone present while Ayn is around undergo a criminal record check, had my visits supervised, and had a behavioral consultant observe my interactions with Ayn. I'm not sure what more I can do to assure you that Ayn is safe in my care. That I'd be hyper vigilant in her supervision and that I have always had her best interests at heart.”