MOMMY’S HOUSE

MOMMY’S HOUSE

From the moment she wakes,

she’s preoccupied. Eagerly,

she readies herself to go.

Today is the day and tonight is the night,

she’ll be sleeping at Mommy’s house.

Pajamas, tooth brush, a child’s cosmetics,

fresh undies and a change of clothes,

She remembers well and she packs her own bag.

Today is the day and tonight is the night,

she’ll be sleeping at Mommy’s house.

She cannot contain her excitement.

Her eyes wide, bright, and her breakfast down,

She waits, bag beside her, then her ride arrives

because this is the day and tonight is the night,

she’ll be sleeping at Mommy’s house.

Captive princess, she’s chauffeured,

Arriving to be encircled in a mother’s love.

Quickly into her pajamas she changes,

Her own insurance that tonight is the night,

she’ll be sleeping at Mommy’s house.

A day filled with activities,

Fun things for a girl and her mom,

Baking cookies, watching videos, reading a story,

Normal things in an abnormal time,

And tonight she’s sleeping at Mommy’s house.

Written by Ron Unruh, March 2013

© Copyright BY RON UNRUH, marking an occasion when Ayn Van Dyk, an autistic child was allowed to stay overnight at her mother's house, for the first time in three years. At age eleven Ayn wandered from her family back yard and when found, the Ministry of Children seized the child to investigate parental capacity, taking an excessively long time to resolve this case. She is now permanently at home with mom.

TODAY WAS THE DAY

Today was the day.

Poster Designed by Jean Nicol

The news became public that Amie Van Dyk, biological mom to Ayn Van Dyk was, as of today, the legal guardian and primary custodial caregiver for her daughter. There are no continuing supervision requirements involved. At Amie’s request, Ayn will remain with the present foster caregivers for the next two weeks so that she can conclude her schooling with her present class and teacher. During those two weeks Ayn can come home for the weekends. Both of these parents, Amie and Derek Hoare,  share a mutual respect that allowed them to say that Ayn coming home was of paramount importance, and if she could not be returned to one, then each wanted the other to be that guardian. From that expression it can be assumed that Derek will now once again be able to enjoy the company of his daughter as well, and this youngest of three children will be able to spend time with her two brothers who live with dad.

Needless to say, this is a happy, happy day.  The family is ecstatic. And remarkably there are over 3,000 Facebookers who tied onto Ayn’s case and her page and have been eagerly longing for this day. Whoever we are, it is impossible not be the teeniest bit emotional about this. Three years of separation is a very long time, too long.

MCFD did the right thing on this particular day. That’s all I can say about that.

4

Ayn and Mommy within the past three years

Ayn and Daddy when she was a small girl 

4 days remain for the current TCO, Temporary Court Order by which the Ministry of Children and Family Development hold Ayn Van Dyk, in foster care in her 12th year of life. She was nine years of age when she was removed from her father's custody.

THE COUNTDOWN HAS BEGUN

 Nine days until the TCO comes to its conclusion, that is, the end of the temporary care order applying to Ayn Van Dyk, daughter of Amie Van Dyk and Derek Hoare. Expectation is high that twelve-year-old Ayn will be returned to one of the parents, likely Amie. If that outcome is realized, one extended family will be ecstatic with a range of emotions, and a phalanx of supporters on several continents will be thrilled.

In that case I wonder what Hon. Stephanie Cadieux will think about the Ministry of Children and Family Development of which she is the Minister in charge. An individual case is customarily not a priority for a Minister but Ayn’s case will have come to her attention. It’s a unique case. It’s a distasteful case.

It’s true that Ayn’s case did not transpire during Hon. Cadieux’s watch and she came into office late in this girl’s saga but if she has apprised herself at all about the details, she will know how this story is perceived by responsible readers of facts. Ayn was taken for an apparent reason, that Derek, the sole caregiver at the time, could not manage the parental responsibility of this disruptive and unpredictable autistic child. I described it as an apparent reason, because conscientious fact-finding would have assured a diligent investigator that Derek, if not perfect, was an effective and loving parent. He was also caring for two of Ayn’s siblings, older brothers, one of whom is also autistic. That’s right. Ayn is autistic. Sizeable commitment to be sure, but Derek viewed Ayn’s behaviour as entirely predictable and her disruptions when they occurred were manageable through his conversational persuasion. He was the Ayn Whisperer.

She was at home and happy, and she was also curious, understandably so, because she was autistic, and as an autistic child sometimes does, or, any child does, she scaled the backyard fence one afternoon and explored her neighbourhood. She didn’t venture far. The RCMP found her at a nearby neighbour’s yard. Derek felt he had no option but to call for help when he couldn’t locate her. But of course, RCMP must make reports, and the Ms. Cadieux’s Ministry was called in, before it was Ms. Cadieux’s ministry, and the administrator and social workers expected Derek to voluntarily sign a release form to let them take Ayn from him. Even if this appropriation was temporary, he was opposed to it, vehemently to say the least. So MCFD affected a surreptitious seizure of the child while she was at school. This was in June of 2011.

You read that date correctly. Even if Ayn was taken so she could be examined medically, socially and psychologically, even Hon. Cadieux will have to admit that three years is an excessive examination period and I would add, an unwarranted length of time to keep the child from her family and in the care of strangers who become simulated family. It doesn’t matter how positive the foster parenting has been, the conduct of the Ministry in this case is reprehensible, inexcusable. If Hon Stephanie Cadieux wants to make a significant mark on this Ministry during the brief time she holds this portfolio, because Ministers get switched around with frequency, I recommend that she delve with determination into the reasons why there are numerous cases of children being removed and then withheld from responsible parents and grandparents for extended times, and then meet that inquiry with suitable procedures to return children speedily. Perhaps she can expedite an unraveling of the mystery of red tape so that twelve-year-old girls do not miss three years of their lives with those who love them most.

Derek and Amie do not live together. Their marriage dissolved years ago, but with mutual respect Amie supported Derek’s single parenting of all three children. There is much that I do not know, but I am assuming Amie will be thrilled to see her daughter released from government care, even if she is returned to Derek. If the judge, on the recommendation of MCFD, rules that Ayn be returned to Amie, and Amie is able and willing, as I believe she is, that may be a wise step as this young woman enters her teen years. I trust that Derek will acknowledge the wisdom of such a move. Furthermore, I trust as well that both parents will find ways of allowing these children to see each other frequently. The countdown of days has begun again.

IT HAS BEEN REPORTED THAT AYN WILL COME HOME

Today, word has been received by Amie Van Dyk, that she should expect to have her daughter Ayn released from Ministry care into the care of the child's mother. That's Amie. This news was conveyed by the social worker assigned with Ayn's case. The social worker reportedly made the announcement with permission from the supervisor. Understandably Amie is in shock, processing her exhilaration which seems surreal at times, difficult to believe and too good to be true. It will have been three years that this child has been withheld from the custody of either parent.

TODAY & TOMORROW, HINDSIGHT AND FORESIGHT, GRIEF AND HOPE

Below I am taking you back to the first post that I wrote about Ayn and her dad Derek, dated June 25, 2011. Imagine. June 16th is when their world came crashing in. Here we are today on the eve of another Court Hearing, tomorrow April 1st.
Many scores of posts later, we are nearing three years that Ayn has been away from her family home.

June 25, 2011 Derek Hoare and his Daughter Ayn http://ronunruhgps.blogspot.ca/2011/06/derek-hoare-and-his-daughter-ayn.html#comment-form

June 28, 2011 Roadkill Interview of Derek Hoare Tonight / 556 http://ronunruhgps.blogspot.ca/2011/06/roadkill-interview-of-derek-hoare.html

June 30, 2011 CHILD WELFARE IN CANADA, IN ABBOTSFORD & THE CURRENT AYN VAN DYK CASE / 558
http://ronunruhgps.blogspot.ca/2011/06/child-welfare-in-canada-in-abbotsford.html#more

To that June 30th entry there were 27 comments from readers as the wave of support began to build. Friends had generated this Facebook page and subscribers grew into the thousands. Many people thought that this case would be resolved sensibly and short order. Others with experience with MCFD knew that these cases can drag on interminably and in a case such as this, it is not “in the best interest of the child,” regardless of how MCFD tries to justify it.

APRIL FOOL'S DAY will tell us a great deal about MCFD, The Ministry of Children and Family Development.

JUNE 2011 - MY FIRST ARTICLE ABOUT AYN

This is archived piece that I wrote shortly after Ayn Van Dyk was removed from her father in June 2011. There were 1000 hits to this post back then. She is still in foster care. This should be over by now. She should be home. But read and learn how this began. All of the info in this post dates back to the date of publication. A court appearance is scheduled now for February 2014.

Derek Hoare has three children and all three lived with him until ……… Well, wait until you hear this.

Photo by John Van Putten shows Derek with Ayn 

Did your child ever go missing for a few minutes, for an hour or so? And were you desperate to find the child. Did you contact the police? And when you found the child weren’t you ecstatic and so grateful? So was Derek. But his joy didn’t last long.

THEY COULD HAVE BUILT HIM A HIGHER FENCE

Ray Ferris thinks I am more forgiving of social workers than he would be, so he wrote the following. 

I think if you want to assess the social workers properly then you need to go back to basic principles. This is what I always start off with and when you do that, the matters usually become quite clear. The basic mandate of child protection is to ensure that a child can be made safe at home, or in alternative care. This principle is firmly embodied in the CFCSA in which there are many admonitions to extend help to parents in making sure their children are protected.

JUSTICE IS A GARMENT

Justice is a garment prepared for residents of this planet. It is woven from billions of threads, knit together into a strong and integrated fabric. Love is the thread and it has produced a fabric of integrity.

Injustice occurs when countless numbers of these threads are pulled from the garment. The wearer of the garment is then uncovered and vulnerable.

WHAT WE GET FOR WHAT WE GIVE

We pay good money to operate a government for the people.

We pay our taxes, all of us do, as citizens of the commonwealth, the federal government of Canada, and the British Columbia government for a province that we call home. We love it here and together we are the people.

Our expectations are routine enough. We want reliable representation by ordinary people standing in on our behalf to create and manage respectable law and policy to service people and the communities in which we live.

We value statements by government agencies that have the sound of credibility such as “In the best interests of children.” We believe innocently, naively that all agencies mean what they say, or that all employees within them, operate with authenticity.

Then something like this happens.

THE WAY I SEE AYN VAN DYK'S CASE

We are all waiting for her return, none more apprehensively than Amie Van Dyk and her ex husband Derek Hoare. They are the parents of Ayn Van Dyk, the twelve-year old autistic child who innocently meandered from her family back yard in 2011. Ayn was ten years old at that time. Even Ayn with imperfect cognitive capability would have reasoned to stay in her own back yard had she known that the consequence would be her removal from her family for over two years.

Amie and Derek have been informed some months ago that they can expect Ayn to be returned to them some time during the month of September 2013.

Ayn was ten years old when she scaled a fence that surrounded the back yard. She was not affecting a prison break. She was not violating a community standard. She was not disrupting anyone’s peace, although she did cost the taxpayer some money because of the urgently placed 911 call from her father summoning the help of RCMP who sent a helicopter into the Abbotsford skies to locate his child. Even Derek with his anxious parental response would have reasoned to summon friends instead of RCMP had he known that the outcome would be the agony of separation from his daughter for most of these past two years.

WHEN AYN IS COMING HOME.

WHEN AYN IS COMING HOME.

THEY CAN’T TALK OR DON’T WANT TO TALK, OR DON’T KNOW.

They are not speaking about it.

Both Derek Hoare and Amie Van Dyk, biological parents of Ayn Van Dyk (she carries her mother’s surname), have not spoken about the delay.

Some months ago, pre-Christmas 2012, Derek updated us with glad information that consultation with the Ministry of Children assured him that with a graduated process and whatever protocol mechanisms MCFD deemed necessary, Ayn would be returned in the near future, early in the new year.

ARCHIVED: ONE WEEK AFTER AYN WAS TAKEN, I WROTE ...

Saturday, June 25, 2011

DEREK HOARE AND HIS DAUGHTER AYN

Did your child ever go missing for a few minutes, for an hour or so? And were you desperate to find the child. Did you contact the police? And when you found the child weren’t you ecstatic and so grateful? So was Derek. But his joy didn’t last long.

His nine year old daughter Ayn Van Dyk, (her mother's surname) was suddenly gone from his backyard at his Mt. Lehman Road home. He had taken numerous precautions for the care of his children. There is a six-foot fence that surrounds his yard. All windows and doors are locked and the doors require a key to exit from the inside. Yet one day recently, Ayn had climbed into her tree house, scaled the wall and disappeared. Derek spent 10 minutes running up and down the street in a rapid search for her and then he called the police who three hours later returned Ayn to her father. She ran to her dad and rapped her arms around him in a tearful embrace. She had been found safe at a pool in the yard of neighbours two house away.

Great! Right? Wrong!

CRITICISM OF CHILD PROTECTION CAN BE BALANCED

There are cases like Ayn’s where, even the MCFD’s own files cannot possibly justify withholding the child from parents. The seizure and custody of the child is so inherently mistaken and illegal in the moral sense if not judicial, that it can be called iniquitous. And I want to blow the lid off when this happens.

MOMMIE'S LATEST REPORT ON HER VISITS WITH AYN

Amie Van Dyk, Ayn's mom sees her regularly now and her recent March 24th update is an encouraging one. Ayn is the ten year old girl who was taken from her father's care in June 2011 and still remains the custody and care of the Ministry of Children in B.C. She is a girl with autism. YOU WILL WANT TO HEAR WHAT HER MOM SAYS SO PLEASE READ ON.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

None but Ayn Van Dyk’s parents, know the precise answer to the questions I will now raise, except. You will feel that you can guestimate an answer as I have. We, however, are limited by the extent of our knowledge of the care we believe Ayn received when in Derek’s care, and our lack of knowledge of the foster care she has received since her removal in June 2011.

Well, just think of that. From June 2011 until today February 23, 2013, Ayn has been absent from her family home where she shared life with her dad and two brothers and had access to and visits with her mother Amie. One would have to be convinced that the government’s plan/strategy when removing Ayn, has resulted in significant improvement of Ayn’s life, health, and wellbeing,  in order to justify her removal this sustained period of foster care.

So here’s what I want you to do. I will paste here paragraphs of the Ministry of Children and Family, and I will let you respond with your assessment. The following is found on this website page, http://www.mcf.gov.bc.ca/alternativestofostercare/index.htm

Alternatives to Foster Care

The ministry’s first priority is to keep families together, where possible. We also recognize that sometimes it’s necessary for a child to live outside the family home when their parents are temporarily unable to care for them. When that happens, there are a number of options and choices to be made. Was it possible for the Ministry to keep Ayn with her family in June 2011?

There may be circumstances where a child’s or youth’s needs are best met through foster care, and foster families play an important role in providing homes for vulnerable children. However, foster care is a temporary placement, usually with people who are strangers to the child.  Have Ayn’s needs been better met met through foster care than they could be in Derek’ home?

As an alternative to foster care, children may, in some circumstances, live with a relative or another significant person with whom the child is comfortable and connected. Current research recognizes the benefits for children and youth to be cared for by relatives and others with an established relationship with the child when they are not able to remain in their parents’ care. Extended family care helps maintain family ties and enhances children’s opportunities to stay connected to their own families and communities. Was this option ever presented to Derek and Amie?

There are a number of options available for relatives or others to care for children and youth, including:

•  The Extended Family Program.

•  Placement with a Person Other than the Parent – If a child is removed from a family home because of safety concerns, a judge may make an order for the child to live in the custody of someone other than the child’s parents. If you care for a child under this type of order, you may be able to receive financial assistance. Did safety concerns drive the Ministry response in June 2011?  Did the Ministry do due diligence in studying Derek’s home and care ability?

Part 1 of 3, A BRIEF EMOTIONAL FLASHBACK

AYN, today, 18 mo older than when she left

Amie Van Dyk is mom to Ayn, the ten-year-old girl who has been in foster care since June 2011. Amie and her ex-husband Derek Hoare, have agreed that he should be the primary caregiver for their three children, who include two sons, older than Ayn. Derek has had custody and care of the trio since the parents’ marriage dissolved, at least that’s all the marital details any of us casual readers need to know. What is of importance to us if we care to understand the dynamic of this situation is that two of three children are autistic. One of them is Ayn. As it pertains to visitation with the children and other arrangements concerning them, Aime and Derek have a sensible relationship and understanding.

It was during the summer of 2011 that Ayn was playing in the back yard of the home in which Derek and the three siblings lived, that Ayn wandered off. Ayn is a lovely girl, playful, affectionate, and in some regards challenging. Derek who learned how to communicate tranquilly with her, always met the challenges capably. But a healthy father-daughter relationship does not eliminate a child’s curiosity, and on a June afternoon, Ayn decided to explore the neighbourhood.  When Derek noticed that she had scaled the high fence and left the fairly secure yard, he searched and couldn’t find her. Anxious about this, he called for police assistance, and three hours later Ayn was located in a neighbour’s yard just a couple of homes away. The reunion was joyful but also short-lived. Within a couple of days, MCFD showed up as two social workers with a voluntary surrender of custody form that Derek could sign, or they would simply remove the child without his permission. MCFD conducted that seizure at Ayn’s school one day.

Initial observation of the girl’s treatment following that removal, was then, and is now questionable to many, appalling to others. For some weeks the child carried a photo of her daddy, wanting him, missing him, wondering where he was and when he would come for her. And in the early weeks she was given medications, anti-psychotic drugs, a host of them was Derek’s informed allegation. Professionals may handle the aggressive episodes of an autistic girl that way. A loving parent predisposed to non-doping but rather communicative interventions, did not. That’s a brief history of the basic information. A volume of emotions goes along with the history.